The Lonely Touch
by Katheryn Mae
Summary: After their one night, Cuddy got pregnant with House's child, and wanted to rid herself of any memory of the baby. Twenty years later, when House returns from Mayfield, she wants to tell someone the truth of what happened that night. Huddy.
1. Prologue

The Lonely Touch

Summary: After their one night, Cuddy got pregnant with House's child, and wanted to rid herself of any memory of the baby, or what she felt for House. Twenty years later, when House returns from Mayfield, and Cuddy discovers Rachel is being taken away from her, memories of her precious baby girl resurface and she wants to tell someone. Huddy.

Disclaimer: Don't own House.

AN: Okay, this story is a whole lot of angst and on-the-edge kind of stuff, especially the prologue. If you aren't comfortable with it then don't read. It's an idea that popped into my head and I had to write it. Also, all my other stories on are on hiatus, well, most, sadly, are abandon, but yeah. Most are on a long, indefinite hiatus.

Prologue 

Darkness settled in on the small clearing, and the two figures stood huddled behind two different cars. One, a black Pontiac Firebird, and the other, a slightly beat-up Buick Regal, sat parked almost head-to-head. In the front seat of the Regal, a girl with curling blonde hair watched as her friend leaned against the side of the car. Her eyes were filled with worry and she rocked a small baby in her arms.

"You okay Lisa?" She met her friend's tired blue-gray eyes and sighed at the nod she received in return.

"I'll live," Lisa Cuddy managed a weak smile and struggled to her feet, before leaning against the hood of the Regal. After a few moments, she bent, kissing the baby's forehead, and looked into her friend's shocked face.

"You're going to let her go, just like that?" Elizabeth Miller looked shocked as Cuddy straightened up, "You're going to give up your baby, as if she never existed?"

"She shouldn't," Cuddy didn't mean to sound heartless, and tears slipped down her cheeks, "It was one night Liz, it was all a mistake, nothing that night should have happened."

"But it did," Elizabeth shot back, "It did. You can't just ignore this Lisa! You shouldn't lie to everyone. Okay, most people at school, I understand that, but your parents, you sister, _Greg_; you need to tell them."

"No, not my parents or sister, and especially not Greg. He can't know about any of this, not now, not ever." She pulled the sweater she was wearing around her shoulders and bent to kiss her daughter's head, "You take her Liz, you'll be a much better mother to her than I ever could be."

"No, I'm not taking her Lisa," she tried to return the baby to Cuddy's arms, but she backed away slightly, almost as if she were scared of it, "You're her mother, you have full control over her life. If you don't want her, then _you _bring her to a good foster home. Not me."

"No, Liz, I can't," Cuddy's shoulders shook as tears slipped down her cheeks, "You take her."

And with those last words, Lisa Cuddy turned, got into her car and drove away from the only two things on earth that were keeping her from breaking down completely.

AN: Loved it? Hated it? Review! Comments and suggestions are always accepted.

~KM Wilson


	2. Chapter One

Disclaimer: See prologue.

Chapter One

_Twenty Years Later – early-October_

Leaning into the couch, Cuddy closed her eyes, hearing the car pull away from in front of the house. The house was quiet, and the room was bathed in shadow, due to the nearing darkness outside. After a few moments, Cuddy pulled a blanket over her shoulders, and curled up on the couch, falling asleep almost instantly, falling into a pleasant dream.

_She stood on her back porch, looking around the small yard. In one corner, was a swing set, where two five year old girls was playing, while a golden Labrador retriever ran around the yard. As she took a sip of the glass of iced tea in her hand, she spotted a simple golden band on her finger, with a single topaz stone in it. Smiling at it, she set down the glass and made her way barefooted towards her daughter. As soon as she spotted her, her daughter ran over and Cuddy swung her in a circle, as their retriever ran around her feet. A door slammed and she turned towards the house, seeing, for the first time, the father of her daughter. _

_Gregory House held a bottle of beer and a glass of water in his hands, which he set down and made his way towards them, kissing both his daughter's and his wife's cheek. He lifted his daughter from Cuddy's arms and spun her around, taking care not to let her weight knock him off balance. The second girl, who had been trying to get the puppy's attention, came towards the family, tugging on Cuddy's spring dress. As this, House set his daughter down as she rejoined her friend in play, before taking Cuddy's hand and kissing her lips gently. They walked, hand-in-hand, back to the pouch, where they sat curled together on the swinging bench, watching their daughter and friend play happily. _

A chiming of the clock woke Cuddy from her dream and she groaned, stretching uncomfortably on the couch, before glancing at the clock. It was almost midnight and she sighed, happy to have been able to rest for a few hours. Keeping the blanket around herself, she made her way to her bedroom, passing the now-empty nursery quietly, and dropped the blanket on the chair besides the door. Changing into her pajamas, she chose a pair of fleece pants and a light long-sleeved top, before slipping under the covers, trying to fall asleep. For a few minutes, she lay on her back, her eyes closed, before she rolled onto her side, breathing a sigh.

It had been nearly twenty years since had had a dream like that one, where she dreamt of the wishes she had while carrying her and House's child. For the longest time, she had been happier without him, or at least, had wanted something more than his love. But now, alone again, it was the one thing that would bring her comfort. Usually, if she had been upset, she would have gone into the nursery and held Rachel in her arms for a few minutes, but now that the agency had returned her to her birth mother and her family, there was nothing she had for comfort.

It had all started when Natalie's parents had shown up a month earlier at her office right before the school semester had started. They had insisted that they have Rachel back and had also threatened to use court law to return her to them if Cuddy refused. At first, she had been shocked, since they had been insistent on getting rid of the baby, that now, almost a year later, they wanted her back. But at the same time, she could almost understand exactly why they wanted the child back.

Rachel was a part of them too, more than she knew at her young age, and Cuddy understood that. If it had been any other baby, or any other situation, she would have refused point-blank and done everything she could to keep Rachel as her daughter. She hadn't been much older than Natalie when she had given up her own daughter, and even though she had no desire to find her, regretted the decision for the rest of her life. Rachel was the only piece of Natalie they had left, no matter how foolish her decisions had been, and Cuddy understood every bit of reasoning on why they wanted their granddaughter. So, after every file had be reversed, Cuddy had returned, with some sadness, Rachel to her grandparents forever.

Now, she almost could say she regretted that choice, but it was over, and she had no intentions of adopting another baby. The pain of loosing three children was enough for her to handle and the guilt from not even knowing what had happened to her birth daughter haunted her deeply. Tears streaked her cheeks as she thought back on her dream, and with slightly shaking hands, she reached for the phone besides her bed, dialing the seven most familiar numbers to her.

After a few rings, House's phone went to voice mail, and through her tears, she left a simple, "call me back when you get this" message. She tried calling his cellphone too, leaving the same short cryptic message. After a few minutes, she dialed Wilson's number, hoping to get some sense on where House was.

"Cuddy?" Wilson picked up on the second ring, "How are you doing?"

"Fine, better than I expected." Cuddy wanted to get to the point, "Sorry it's so late, but have you talked to House? I called his apartment and his cell, but he didn't answer either one. It's important Wilson," she was nearly begging, but stopped herself before he could get suspicious.

"He left here about ten minutes ago, though he didn't have his phone with him, why? Anything I can help with?"

"No, no, it's fine Wilson. I'll call him tomorrow, thanks. Bye," she hung up quickly, hearing a knock on her window. As she guessed, she heard House call through the window and she sat up, drying her eyes before calling out a response.

"It would be nice if you let me in Cuddles," House called, "I'm freezing my ass off out here, it's not exactly warm for October." With a laugh, Cuddy snuggled under the covers.

"If you want to bother me then you know how to get in. If not, then go away and let me sleep." She called back, regretting the invitation for him to come in, but at the same time, hope flared in her chest. Maybe now, it was the time to tell him the truth about what had happened all those years ago.


	3. Chapter Two

Disclaimer: See prologue.

AN: Just kept going onto chapter two. Also, I sort of changed POV to House for the start of the chapter, but I didn't mean to, it's like, a mix between third and first person, but not exactly second person.

Chapter Two

House made his way through the house, to Cuddy's bedroom, clearly aware on how much she was hurting at the moment. Now, he had no intentions, as silly as it seemed, to tease her in any way. He wanted to sit with her and be able to comfort her, to make sure that she didn't do anything stupid or foolish now that she was alone again. Quietly, he slipped into the master bedroom, leaving the door open a few inches, seeing Cuddy curled under the covers, facing away from him.

"Hey," he sat down on the opposite edge of the bed, unsure of how to act, and after receiving a sniffle as a greeting, he tried again. "Cuddy? You feeling all right?"

"What?" She turned her face to look at him, revealing the tears in her eyes. House could feel his heart break at her tears and he wanted to reach out and brush them away, but inside, he worried about the reaction he would receive when he did so. Instead, he stated the obvious.

"You're crying."

"I already know that," she cut him off almost instantly, sitting up and wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. He was slightly taken aback at her tone, and he reached forwards, brushing a few tears off her cheek.

"Do you want to talk?"

"Only to hear you gloat about me loosing Rachel? Not really," Cuddy got up and wrapped the blanket around her shoulders, "if that's what you're going to do then you can do it tomorrow. I want to go to sleep."

"You weren't sleeping when I came over here anyways," House wasn't trying to force her to let him stay, but it was the only way he felt he could stay, not piss her off completely and be able to talk to her. "Give me a good reason why you're going to sleep when I leave."

"I can't," Cuddy sat back on the bed and leaned into the pillows, "Just go away."

"Fine," House leaned forwards, giving her a quick, awkward hug, when she stiffened in his arms.

"Get out," she hissed in his ear, causing him to draw back quickly, "Just get out House, leave me alone right now."

"This isn't about Rachel is it?" House remained seated on the bed as tears slipped down her cheeks, "Talk to me, or Wilson, talk to someone."

"I can't tell Wilson," her voice was trembling slightly as she closed her eyes, trying to stop the sudden stream of tears. "Not him, nor could I tell anyone else," she looked up, her eyes shinning with tears. "I can't tell anyone but you."

"Me?" House was stunned, it was rare for Cuddy to be this vulnerable, and last time she had opened up to him, he regretted his actions. "Why?"

"Because, I ..." Cuddy paused, sobs racking her frame and House wrapped an arm around her in a gesture of comfort. "You're the only one who would understand."

"Cuddy," He knew it wasn't good to laugh now, "When do I ever understand you, or even listen to what you say?"

"You did before," she whispered, so quietly he even had to strain to hear her.

"Before when?"

"Before you changed."

"We both changed Lisa," House cupped her face in his hand, looking into her eyes, "That's part of life, people change."

"Not all change is good," She protested, leaning into House's touch.

"What are you talking about?" House dropped his hand and leaned back against the pillows, "What's bothering you Lisa? You can tell me, I promise I won't tell anyone."

She turned to face him, her eyes sad and mysterious, her cheeks tear-stained, and sighing, she leaned back into the pillows besides him. "How can I be sure that you won't?"

"You're obviously hurting from whatever it is Lisa, and I would never, ever tell anyone about something that is hurting you this much." He reached over across the sheets and squeezed her hand, "Please Lisa, just talk to me."

"House," Cuddy faced him and to his surprise, buried her face on his shoulder, tears soaking through his shirt. Her voice was muffled when she spoke, but House heard every word. "I was pregnant."

* * *

AN: Sorry it's short, homework to do or else I'd continue right on to chapter three. I'm planning on making a fanvideo to this on my youtube account (musicgoddess618). It should be done by the end of the day today.

AND OMG. Spoiler people, have you seen the newset for episode seven. That will be LOVE.

~KMWilson


	4. Note to Readers

Hey Readers,

So, as you've probably noticed, I haven't updated this story since the end of September; and since then, I've written a one-shot called _Feels Like Tonight_ (which is posted on here), that follows this same idea. Sorry to everyone who really wanted me to keep working on this, but the other story is pretty much a condensed version of this.

Thanks,

Katheryn M. Wilson


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